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> The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units > manufactured, > regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the > primary and > central component of the heart. This is due to a > malfunction in the > original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, > resulting in the > reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent > units.This defect has been > technically termed "Subsequential Internal > Non-Morality," or more commonly > known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed. > > > > Some other symptoms include: > > 1. Loss of direction > > 2. Foul vocal emissions > > 3. Amnesia of origin > > 4. Lack of peace and joy > > 5. Selfish or violent behavior > > 6. Depression or confusion in the mental component > > 7. Fearfulness > > 8. Idolatry > > 9. Rebellion > > > > The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for > this defect, is > providing factory-authorized repair and service free of > charge to correct > this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most > generously offered > to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these > repairs. There is > no additional fee required. > > > > The number to call for repair in all areas is: Jeremiah > 33:3 (Call unto Me > and I will answer you...) > > > > Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through > the REPENTANCE > procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair > Technician, Jesus, into > the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN > defect is, Jesus > will replace it with: > > > > 1. Love > > 2. Joy > > 3. Peace > > 4. Patience > > 5. Kindness > > 6. Goodness > > 7. Faithfulness > > 8. Gentleness > > 9. Self control > > > > Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic > Instructions Before > Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these > fixes. > > > > WARNING: The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter > Heaven so as to > prevent contamination of that facility. Continuing to > operate the human > being unit without correction voids any manufacturer > warranties, exposing > the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and > will result in the > human unit being permanently impounded. For free > emergency service, call > on Jesus. > > > > Thank you for your attention! > > - GOD > > > > Please assist where possible by notifying others of this > important recall > notice, and you may contact the Father any time by > "Kneemail". > > > > DANGER: The human units not responding to this recall > action will have to be > scrapped in the furnace.
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